UK government to solve Gibraltar crisis through privatisation.


With the on-going dispute with Spain over the sovereignty of Gibraltar slowly turning into an expensive chest beating exercise, the British Government has revealed plans to reduce the cost of constant complaints to the EU.

“This tit-for-tat argument is costing British tax payers a fortune,” Prime Minister David Cameron explained. “That’s why we are going to privatise Gibraltar next Thursday.”

“We will be selling shares off at a price that will value Gibraltar at about £3.5bn. At that bargain price we will prove that a rock can float.”

Early interest in shares has come from thousands of business bosses that would struggle to point out Gibraltar on a map, but have many businesses registered there because of its favourable tax status.

One Harold resident and business owner told us he plans to get in on the act.

“The Squirrel Lickers Arms, although situated in the beautiful English village of Harold, has on paper also been the local pub for the residents Gibraltar since 1985,” Eddie told us.

“So it only seems right that I should have a bit of ownership of the place. I’m also getting good at this kind of investment with my last one being very profitable. When Royal Mail was floated I brought a first class stamp and ten minutes later I owned a postman.”

Some people have accused Cameron of rushing into privatisation just find a quick fix to the problem, a criticism he denies.

“What could possibly go wrong? I know this won’t backfire and as I was explaining to a potentially massive investor, Señor Mariano Rajoy, prime minister of… Oh… Damn… GEORGE, STOP.”

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