Richard III’s bones to be shared equally by Leicester and York dog homes

The long running legal dispute over the remains of Richard III has been resolved with his bones being shared between dog homes located in Leicester and York.

“This seems to be the ideal compromise,” said a Government spokesman. “It is known that Richard was a keen animal lover. Even as he faced death at the infamous Battle of Tesco’s Carpark, he was witnessed by Shakespeare as only having concern for the welfare of his horse.”

“I’m sure it’s what he would have wanted, and it will save us spending millions of pounds on a special new car park to house his remains.”