Nominations announcement soon for Police ‘Lie of the Season’


Results will be altered and covered up in time for award ceremony.

The prestigious 2013 National Police Lying awards ceremony will be held at the O2 arena later this month and with only days left until nominations close, excitement is building.

Contenders for the headline Lie of the Season award will certainly come from amongst the numerous plebgate participants but the smart-money is awaiting the outcome of this week’s Home Affairs Select Committee. Committee Chair Keith Vaz MP will find himself in the unusual role of ‘the nice one’.

Sergeants Stuart Hinton and Chris Jones, who are expected to put in yet another stirring performance at Westminster, may later have the opportunity of reprising it 12 miles away at Wormwood Scrubs; to Big Ron on the landing of E wing.

In between those events, the so-called ‘Sergeants’ Mess’ Police Federation duo will replay their match with the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC), which lost heavily in the original match earlier this season. ‘Procedural irregularities’ mean the game must now be played again and after a pep talk from Home Secretary Theresa May, the IPCC are expected to show ‘a bit more passion and balls.’

A special Lifetime Achievement Award will be given to South Yorkshire Police for their dedicated work on covering up their responsibility for the Hillsborough disaster. The citation reads:

‘For decades of outstanding work in slandering and libelling victims, setting a benchmark in the work of the Police that has seldom been equalled and never bettered”

Previous winners of the coveted award include the Metropolitan Police for their ground-breaking work on the Stephen Lawrence murder and the winners of the inaugural award, the legendary West Midlands Serious Crime Squad.

The awards panel were impressed with the sheer numbers of Officers involved in Hillsborough and by the many years and tens of thousands of publically funded Police hours invested in maintaining ‘the original lie’.

Particular mention was made of later attempts by Police to use the funds raised to benefit victims for the benefit of Police Officers “You just couldn’t make up a story like that” said panel Chair Arthur Glendinning, adding “unless you’re a Police Officer of course! Hahaha.”

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