The prestigious Mercury music prize has been won by a hitherto unheard of band, who eschew traditional musical instruments in favour of recording metallic grinding noises from industrial machinery and mixing it with the sound you get when you punch a goat in the face while holding a microphone.
“The Barclaycard Mercury Prize has taken on even more significance in recent years, as the only other major award for British artists, The Brits, tend to be won by acts that the general public have not only heard of, but also like.” said Timothy Forbes, music editor for The Guardian, “The Mercury Prize is therefore essential to remind ordinary music fans how much better than them us critics are.”
The winning act’s name is almost unpronounceable, giving their few fans even more reason to feel superior to the sort of person who goes to One Direction concerts, and their achievement has been hailed as an important victory for musical snobbery.
“This is our industry’s version of modern art and Nnnnguqryia are at the very forefront of that movement. They are transcending the genre, creating their own niche and pushing the very boundaries of what is accepted as music.” continued Forbes, “The combination of heavy machinery and distressed wildlife makes a bold, thought-provoking statement about the conflict between nature and industry. It is quite profound and moving once you get past the awful sound.”
The winning album will not be found on the shelves of your traditional music retailers, or indeed on iTunes, as it is not available in any traditional format and requires specialist equipment to listen to, but Forbes says that is part of the reason that it won.
“This award is about recognising that we are different to ordinary music fans, that we appreciate music on many, many more levels than the concert-going masses, and taking the opportunity to remind everybody of that fact by recognising a band nobody has heard of before or will again.”
“Admittedly it is not the most accessible music but I like it because I’m better than you.”