Village to employ ex-Nazi to help with badger cull


With the trial cull of badgers over, the company charged with ‘taking the badgers out’ have asked for some more time as their marksmen were not as good as they thought.

If more badgers are to be executed then there has been a suggestion that they should be gassed, an idea that has led the council in Harold to ask for the services of an ex-Nazi officer.

“We have never had to gas so many badgers in one go” councillor Ronsson told us. “It’s a logistical nightmare trying to kill that many, and all without a conscience, so a man with such experience seems to be the best option.”

The government has welcomed the village’s forward thinking but the prime minister has had to deny links being made to the Nazi regime.

“We may have set up mini gas chambers in the village, commissioned special badger trains and rerouted HS2 to pass through the camps” David Cameron explained, “but better that than a sick cow. The only downside is the energy companies. The minute they hear we may start gassing the badgers, they put their prices up.”

Critics of the unscientific approach to disease control have said that the government’s plans are ‘evil’, and say that not all of their questions have been answered.

In response to one of those unanswered questions, Cameron said: “What this? Oh, I’m just starting Movember early. Suits me, don’t you think?”

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