Amy Winehouse denies she is addicted to death

I can give up death at any time

I can give up death at any time

On what would have been her 30th birthday, deceased singer Amy Winehouse angrily denied that she is addicted to death.

In a statement issued through her publicist and medium, Winehouse said she was more of a social corpse, and she could give up death at any time.

“They said I couldn’t give up the drink and drugs but I proved them all wrong – I haven’t touched a drop of whiskey or line of coke for over two years” said Winehouse.

“Death is not causing me any problems, if anything my skin has improved. But I’m being careful to do death in moderation, and only when I have company around.”

Addiction specialists are sceptical that Amy Winehouse can do anything in moderation, especially something as hard to shake as death.

“Death is the sort of addiction that stays with you for your whole life, um, I mean death. It’s a 24/7 kind of thing” said Dr Neal Cable. “And choosing to reside in the cemetery where she is surrounded by other death addicts hardly inspires confidence that she will shake death off any time soon.”

Winehouse’s legion of fans sprang to her defence, saying that the haters were just focusing on her death as if that defined her as a person.

“They keep calling her ‘dead’ and ‘deceased’ like it is some sort of disease. But Amy will bounce back and prove everyone wrong by releasing a new album, probably a ‘Greatest Hits’ one” said Harold fan Melanie Delaney.

The loyal fans may be proved right as the last part of Winehouse’s statement showed she might be trying to turn her death around as she enquired ‘is the offer of rehab still open?’”

1 Comment

Filed under Entertainment, News

One Response to Amy Winehouse denies she is addicted to death

  1. Interesting article. I am sure Amy has room in her newest Villa for some of the current singers/ actors who may be meeting her soon, who seemed not to learn from her life story in this World.