Game called off after player biting incident – Weekly round up

Harold’s Weekly News Round Up
There was controversy yesterday after a care assistant reported Elsie Duggan, the only resident of The Over-The-Hill Nursing Home, for biting her during a game of gin rummy. After the game, Manager Marjorie Houndstooth played down the incident, saying she had been unsighted when the alleged offence took place. She said that Elsie, 86, has been told to “pack it in” but pointed out that Elsie only put in her teeth for “big occasions”.

A man, who appeared at the door of Carly Jeffery’s home, demanding money and brandishing a large spanner, has turned out to be the plumber who was reminding Mrs Jeffery that a call out charge would be made before he could fix her new washing machine.

PC Anita Flegg has announced her retirement from refereeing the junior football team’s matches at the end of the season. Blaming new technology, PC Flegg told us, “We used to be issued with a whistle, but now we have walkie-talkies which are absolutely hopeless for refereeing.”

Sharp eyed villagers have spotted the amazing similarity between the lamppost at the corner of Manor Way and another one at the end of The Street. They are wondering if the two could possibly share the same manufacturer.