Village Women’s Institute caught up in global food scandal

Now we know why parmesan is the stinky cheese

Some of the village’s most respected female community members are keeping a low profile today after harrowing accusations surrounding food stuffs produced by the local Women’s Institute.

At the centre of the allegations is the WI’s “Organically matured grated hard cheese for pasta”, which most consumers had assumed to be a variation of the Italian favourite parmesan. However, sources claim that members have simply been using Scholl foot files to produce the shavings from the soles of their feet at little to no cost, placing it into rustic looking boxes, and selling it on for £4.99 a pop. The FSA have launched an investigation, however the WI are claiming the labelling is factually correct, and therefore no rules have been breached.

The latest controversy follows not only the high profile horsemeat scandal in Europe, but also the revelation last month that ‘Big Farmer’ Phil Evans was passing off Little Gems as Romaine Lettuce at the farmers market, as well as cutting his cocaine with up to 4 parts organic spelt flour.

We spoke to PC Anita Flegg who told us “It’s too early for me to give you any further information on the foot cheese case, however I can confirm other products are also now under investigation, and what might have been going into the ‘Sunshine fruit & nut muesli’ really doesn’t bear thinking about.”