Another nasty case of Gerrarditis
Dear Doctor Evans, I’m a BBC sports journalist and I can’t help mentioning the amazingly loyal Liverpool superstar footballer Steven Gerrard every time I open my mouth. Am I sick? Is there any cure? BBC Cliché (The Wirral)
Dear BBC Cliché, I’m afraid you are very sick, but your condition is curable.
You are suffering from a mass form of hysteria Continue reading
An artist’s impression of Liverpool in 2019
As a tribute to Liverpool FC’s departing captain and arguably greatest ever player, Steven Gerrard, the entire city is to be demolished and rebuilt in his image.
The work will start as soon as Gerrard, the most talented footballer to ever grace the Premier League, heads to the USA to join LA Galaxy in the summer. It is expected to be completed by 2018, in time for him to return to the club and fail as a manager. Continue reading
The English football team’s quest to return home from Brazil is in tatters after the team failed to clear Customs.
Pre-flight expectations were high with most fans expecting England to progress to the prestigious immigration queue stage, and some dared to dream the team would board the flight and make it all the way home.
But the Customs fiasco had the press and fans question whether England can actually compete with the best on the international travel stage.
“And then, after the penalties, I usually slump my shoulders like this”
At a press briefing at Luton Airport on Sunday, Roy Hodgson confirmed younger England players are being taken to the World Cup primarily to get used to losing.
”Some have lost with their clubs at home and at European level: now they must do so on the World stage if they want to earn a long-term England place.”
Sadly, others are still hungry for success “You can see it in their eyes: they positively radiate passion, belief and hope. And it’s my job, together with Stevie [team captain, Gerrard], to snuff that out.” Continue reading