Tag Archives: statue
Sans urinals, the statue had been much criticised, with supporters outnumbered by doubters claiming that as Thatcher did so little for the wider community it would not be appropriate to celebrate her in a public space.
“Now we’ve come up with this idea, no-one can say it’s not good for the people of the town,” explained local councillor R. M. Renfield.
“You can simply admire her as a powerful figure who changed the shape of the country if that’s your bag, or if not, well – it’s very handy if you’re caught short while shopping. A real win-win.”
“It’s also a great time-saver for those of you who were planning to come along and piss on it anyway,” he continued.
“It’s so refreshing to see people from everywhere on the political spectrum getting behind this project. I think it shows that we can all get behind the really important things in life, and perhaps that’s a lesson for all them up at Westminster.”
Large queues are expected of those keen to try out the town’s new amenity first-hand, and locals are being advised to prepare by drinking plenty of water. More than they ever thought it possible to drink.
With proposals for a Mrs Thatcher statue in Parliament Square rejected for fear of vandals, a Harold sculptor has submitted plans for a ready-vandalised version.
Sculptor Digby Burns is perhaps best known locally for his acting, having appeared in an early episode of Midsomer Murders [uncredited, man walking dog by lake] and of course, his career-defining series of TV ads for Dairylea Continue reading
The damning report slammed several post-war US presidents, and if speculations are to be believed, what they could have done to the Churchill statue behind closed doors makes what Obama did look pale by comparison.
Dwight Eisenhower – or to give his surname its proper spelling ‘Eisenhauer’ – was of course part German, a country with whom Britain has seldom been allies. Therefore, the report claims, he almost definitely carried the anti-UK mutation, even if he was not aware of it. Despite their good relationship in real life, some suggest that in private, Eisenhower could have made fun of our nation’s greatest leader by making the statue eat sauerkraut or sausages with mustard on.
Fast forward to the sixties and we find part-Irish John F. Kennedy in the Whitehouse. The report points out that the Irish ancestral hatred of Britain is second-to-none, and it is thought that while praising Churchill in public, it is most likely Kennedy allowed his many mistresses to give him oral sex in full view of Britain’s war-time PM’s disapproving statue eyes.
Another part-Irish chief executive, Bill Clinton, is likely to have done even worse, maybe full sex, or anal, and Clinton’s now-infamous ‘cigar incident’ could well have been a direct mocking reference to Churchill’s fondness for smoking them in his tight-lipped yet moist, yielding mouth.
As the city of Norwich celebrates the new statue of the Freddie Mercury gorilla, some critics are pointing out that it is ironic to celebrate the singer’s gorillaness now, when he never publically admitted it in his lifetime.
Gorilla rights campaigner Peter Tatchell of “OookRage!” is disappointed that years after his untimely death, the singer is now being seen as a major gorilla icon.