Bremner, Bird and Fortune
The nation’s sense of trust in the BBC has reached an all-time low, following the revelation that its flagship art valuation program Fake or Fortune is itself a complete fake.
The program features a gullible member of the public who has bought a work of art by a famous artist at a massive discount because the work has not yet been authenticated. It’s Fiona Bruce’s job to trace the work’s history across Europe and establish the all-important provenance. The gullible owner is excited by the prospect of a genuine work worth millions, but ends the program in tears, when an expert points out that Chagall never signed his name with an S.
An investigation by the Broadcasting Standards Authority, however, found that the program was made up and none of the characters were real. The findings were that the program was filmed entirely in a studio in Manchester and shots of Fiona Bruce outside the Louvre in Paris were created by back projection, using a look-alike actress, with her voice dubbed on afterwards by Russell Crowe. And the works of art were all stage props, made in the BBC’s workshops.
Smirking ‘Hayley’ showed ‘no remorse’
A woman on a downtrodden street in the north pretended to have cancer in order to claim a television award.
Julie Hesmondhalgh, also known by her alias ‘Hayley’, told neighbours and family that she was terminally ill. But after collecting millions of viewing figures and tweets of support, it later emerged that the woman was making it up.
“I really felt for Hayley, or should I say ‘Julie’, it was heart-breaking watching her go down hill so fast and then topping herself off”, said hoax victim Elsie Duggan.
“I’m in a retirement home so that sort of thing happens a lot. But her being in the public eye just seemed to make it all the more real.”
Television authorities have been tracking the fraudster using cameras and a massive award ceremony.
“Despite having cancer and being dead she walked unaided to the stage. She was pretty sprightly for the recently deceased”, revealed Duggan. “And to cap it all she showed no remorse whatsoever. In fact, she looked really pleased with herself.”
Producers at Channel 5 have been congratulated and thanked by the British public for the most secretive series of Big Brother yet.
The current run, which started just over a week ago, has some of today’s biggest names such as Jim Davidson and Lionel Blair yet has still managed to slip under the radar of even the most discerning youthful telly addicts.