The BBC have found themselves in hot water again with Lord McAlpine after incorrectly announcing he was dead. The announcement is thought by some to be a knee jerk reaction to criticism they failed to cover the death of Elvis properly in the 1970s.
“We would like to apologise to Lord McAlpine for accusing him of being dead,” the director General said. “He can rest assured he will be getting a large payment usually reserved for sacked employees. Again.”
Hello, what are these, then?
The BBC has apologised after inadvertently revealing to viewers of The Voice that there is an above-waist difference between men and women.
More than 1000 rabid drooling people smelling of urine phoned the corporation after Saturday night’s live final on BBC One to complain that presenter Holly Willoughby’s low-cut dress clearly showed that women have ‘upper body curvy places which might very well have nipples attached’.
The dress in question, a black lace affair, apparently revealed some five square inches of chesty skin, which caused a bespectacled man in Altrincham to spontaneously ejaculate in anger.