Tag Archives: monarchy

Harold couple to step back from being 60 millionth in line to the throne

i set trends dem man copy
A Harold woman and her imaginary partner have become the latest in a lengthening line of royal dropouts.


“We shall be working towards financial independence, apart from a small amount of Pension Credit and Housing Benefit,” said a statement on behalf of Doris Kettle (72) and her late husband.


“One’s time shall be split between the park and the care home,” Doris told the Evening Harold, adding “this will not impact upon one’s personal carbon footprint, before you ask.”


The move threw Royal Researchers a massive googly as they tried to keep the National Sequence of Succession website up to date.


“The last thing we need is a spate of copycat abdications,” said one royal commentator, while others are questioning whether ‘stepping down’ is an actual constitutional option available to common people.


Nevertheless, comrade Corbyn, who twice narrowly missed out on becoming Prime Minister, is now one step closer to becoming King.

Leave a Comment

Filed under breaking news, Families, Royals

Hands off your forelocks, feet in your socks: new report says Brits waste money and time overusing the word royal

rsz_queen-7

Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith. Or we could call her Granny Bling Hat.

In a controversial new report Harold academic Professor Julia Hogsburn is calling for the word royal to be banned from public life. In it she details how much money is spent each year by forelock tugging Brits insisting on writing royal in front of things. Continue reading

Comments Off on Hands off your forelocks, feet in your socks: new report says Brits waste money and time overusing the word royal

Filed under Around Harold, Royals