I’m gonna BURN!
Donald Trump has shrugged off a recent incident where he was caught on camera burning down an orphanage, and remains the front-runner in polls of a public who have clearly given up all pretence of even caring.
In the widely-circulated video, Trump is seen pouring cans of gasoline into the open windows of the orphanage, before throwing in a lighted rag and running off, laughing maniacally.
When challenged, Trump accused the orphanage of “grandstanding”, and pointed out that he couldn’t even remember its name, so had clearly not intended to burn down anything. Continue reading
Tony Blair (right, in balaclava) spoke of the horrors of war
After reluctantly agreeing to the Iraqi government’s desperate plea for weapons to fight insurgents who are taking over the country, the United States has angrily demanded to know how the hell the country got into such a shitty state to begin with.
American surveillance drones and Hellfire missiles will shortly be delivered to help with the attack on the city of Fallujah, which has fallen to Islamic militants, but US Secretary of State John Kerry insisted this morning that the USA will not continue indefinitely to clean up “other people’s messes”. Continue reading