There were tears across the globe this morning when news leaked that Justin Bieber’s plea bargain defence for illegal street racing will be accepted. Meaning that the half-man half-hair moussed jackal is free to continue his spree of crimes against music. Continue reading
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A couple in Harold has been arrested by police for allowing their child to become enormously ginger.
Aged just 11 the child is already pantone 152, a number at odds with national guidelines.
“Teachers first alerted us to the child when he was placed in a brightly-lit classroom, and the sun reflecting off his hair somehow stained all the chalk an offensive orange colour”, said PC Flegg.
“When an officer went round to warn his parents, they were confronted by a 38 year-old male who was wantonly ginger.”
“I often make gaffs when forming opinions on things I don’t really understand. Choosing an opinion is like choosing a cell mate, pick the wrong one and you’re buggered. I’ve done it again haven’t I?
The UK experienced a slight IQ boost today as media ghoul and convicted sex offender Max Clifford was sentenced to eight years in prison for indecent assault. Without him and his particular brand of tell-all sleaze experts are predicting that the news is going to be a little less stupid until 2022. Continue reading