“I’M NO XENOPHOBE BUT …”
Police say Amber Rudd’s nasty 2016 conference speech is not being treated as a crime because, “Duh. Hello? Because she’s our boss, stupid”.
“No, we’ve recorded it as a hate incident instead” said a West Midlands Police spokesperson “which means no crime investigation, and no interview under caution for our guvnor. Anything else we can help you with? Must go now as I’ve got an appointment with the Home Office to discuss Police pay and conditions.” Continue reading
It’s quite sad, really
Village Goth Josh Fenning has welcomed plans by the police to start recording the many, many crimes committed against him.
Fenning claims to be the victim of a sustained campaign by ‘shadowy elements’ in Harold, including ‘the mood in the pub’, his broadband provider and ‘whoever keeps leaving him milk’.
“Barely a day goes by when Fenning doesn’t come and report some perceived crime against him”, said PC Anita Flegg. “I suppose officially, I ought to start writing them down.”