Professional harridans have warned readers of certain downmarket papers that the Duchess of Cambridge could be slowly ageing, it can be revealed.
Despite marrying into the Royal family and being quite thin, less professional journalists believe that there’s a chance Kate Middleton is still getting older.
Such a move by the Duchess will be a seen as a blow by the royals, and is likely to turn the public against her.
“No wonder she’s not a proper princess”, complained Harold’s Pippa Delaney. “If I’d married Wills, I wouldn’t dream of giving in to the passage of time. And the coat she was wearing made her look a bit ‘mumsy’. I expect she’ll be dumped soon and it serves her right, the frumpy bitch.”