Following the relative success of Ukip in the English council election, and their expected results in the European ballot, many right-minded people are now having to backtrack from their pre-election smears.
With casual racism being proven an accepted political position, and the fact you are statistically never more than 15 feet from a Ukip voter, people across the country are now saying “how can I hate racists, some of my best friends are racists”.
Finger mark proves this chap used the facilities.
The Mayor of Harold has apologised for using the public toilets as a polling booth for the European elections.
Regulars found their way blocked by people with clipboards, asking them if they’d made up their mind about where they were leaving their mark.
“I often pop into these toilets to deal with a range of unpleasantries”, said local farmer David Evans. “I don’t give it much thought, or fully understand the workings of the complex system that deals with my shit.”
Evans was furious that he was unable to vote in his favourite trap, but delighted that the council had finally employed people to hand out toilet paper.