“So, our customs override their traditions, right?”
Eleanor Hawkins, the British backpacker accused of causing an earthquake by stripping off at the summit of a sacred mountain, has denied she or any of her fellow naked tourists engaged in any fracking activities.
Speaking from her cell in a Malaysian jail, the 26 year old, “I admit we took off our clothes for a group selfie, and I admit that we all urinated on the mountain. But wouldn’t anybody if they found that their leader had jokingly replaced the drinking water with champagne?” she asked defiantly. Continue reading
So, so happy
The suffering people of Nepal have shrugged off the impact of a massive earthquake by taking to the streets to celebrate the birth of a new Royal princess.
“It’s such good news for the British public,” said delighted Anchal Tursing, “they must be fed up of hearing about our misery. We really love the Royal Family and even if I hadn’t been forced into the streets by the earthquake I’d be out here celebrating wildly. It might be selfish, but I can’t help but wish the rest of my family had survived to enjoy this special day.” Continue reading