Nothing to see here – photo released by Shell showing oil rigs all gone
The oil giant Shell has announced that its controversial drilling operations off Alaska will stop ‘until everyone has forgotten what evil bastards we are’.
Initial tests had uncovered greater than expected levels of public hatred, the company explained, and therefore the search for oil and gas in the region would be halted ‘forever, or until you all stop watching us, whichever comes first’.
A spokesman for Greenpeace expressed delight at the decision, adding that they would now shift their focus to other endangered areas of the planet, a move which Shell welcomed. Continue reading
Green or Brown?
The farmer whose field has been occupied by anti fracking eco warriors has hit out at way the protesters treated his land.
Although the protesters have been very careful to organise regular recycling collections for refuse, they have refused to use port-a-loos due to the perceived pollution risks from the toilets’ chemical cleaning agents, preferring to use ‘more natural’ disposal methods.
“It all very well that MP wiping her arse with a dock leaf in the interests of communing with nature, but the end product still has to be cleared from the hedge,” said Harold farmer, Lionel Garage. Continue reading