Alarmed at no longer being able to simply dispatch her husband to go and open a badger sanctuary whenever he starts getting on the royal tits, the Queen has spent some of our money on buying him a shed to sit in.
“Her Majesty does of course have access to five palaces across England and Scotland including Buckingham Palace,” said a royal insider. “But let me ask you this: when your partner annoys you just by breathing how can the ability to place seven hundred and seventy-fives rooms between you and him ever seem like enough?”
“Prince Philip’s shed will be stocked with all the things he needs in which to happily while away the hours including a little horse and carriage to play with and a golligwog with which he can re-enact his most famous meetings with members of the public. Prince Harry thoughtfully provided a special plant for him to enjoy growing and quite a complicated lighting set up to help it thrive but on the advice of the royal protection squad we’ve had it destroyed.”