Theresa May says although the current Home Secretary Amber Rudd is doing a fine job, David Cameron’s choice was “dreadful, a disaster who missed every major target for over seven years”.
Mrs May vowed to reverse the un-named woman’s worst decisions, starting with the huge cuts in Police funding.
“Clearly, she wasn’t up to it. The instant she moved on, Amber, an altogether more capable woman, got the job.”
It’s not only security failures says May, who accused the last two governments of “being asleep at the wheel” in other areas, too.
“The NHS, for example, is an absolute shambles.” said Mrs May “We’re lucky it wasn’t a bad winter. Otherwise they’d have been stacked up on trollies at the cemetery, not just at A&E.”
“Jeremy Hunt, another Cameron cock-up merchant, I simply can’t understand how he still has his job.”
“Now, if I was in charge, he’d be straight out the door. And I don’t mean up the road to the Lords, like that massive prick, Andrew Lansley.”
At this point the Prime Minister crawled out from under the table, after checking no unfriendly people were around, brushed some crumbs off her trousers and straightened her jacket. “Getting that off my chest felt really good. What time do we start recording?”