Millions of people were celebrating last night after hearing the news that Jeremy Corbyn was fined £100 for a late Tax Return.
“Unlike Cameron, Corbyn only had one box to fill in,” said a tax expert, “but he despises all aspects of capitalism and fascist tax collectors in particular and basically couldn’t give a monkey’s nuts about their deadlines. The man is Legend.”
“He had from early April until the end of the following January to submit his Tax Return,” explained local accountant Geoffrey King. “It’s a remarkable level of procrastination, normally only achievable by ordinary, hard-working people. No wonder his popularity is on the increase.”
“HMRC do allow appeals against late return fines where there is ‘reasonable excuse’,” explained King. “For example, if you’re in say Panama on business in January and your flight home is delayed, that would be a reasonable excuse.
But having a glitch in Internet Explorer in Windows Vista the previous August is not. Nor is ‘not being unduly bothered’. He’s a true man of the people.”
“Jeremy is proud to have been stung for a £100 fine by the taxman,” said Tom Watson. “It aligns him closely to 4.3 million other people who also couldn’t give a toss about HMRC deadlines.”
Jeremy Corbyn said it was all very flattering, but everyone should remember he doesn’t like hierarchies and immediately amended his status back to ‘ordinary bloke’.