Donald Trump has shrugged off a recent incident where he was caught on camera burning down an orphanage, and remains the front-runner in polls of a public who have clearly given up all pretence of even caring.
In the widely-circulated video, Trump is seen pouring cans of gasoline into the open windows of the orphanage, before throwing in a lighted rag and running off, laughing maniacally.
When challenged, Trump accused the orphanage of “grandstanding”, and pointed out that he couldn’t even remember its name, so had clearly not intended to burn down anything.
The American public, suffering as they are from demonic possession, have confirmed that they are quite OK with the whole burning orphanages thing, and that if anything, it makes them rather more disposed to vote for the faux-haired lunatic.
“To be honest, we’ve embraced the great lord Satan, and anything Trump does is OK with us,” explained one moderate voter from West Virginia.
“Even if he started taking the piss out of disabled people, we’d hardly notice.”