Men who lack the skills to hold down even the simplest of hobbies have been invited to a new support group in Harold.
Held within crawling distance of the walk-in village hospital, the group will meet on Tuesdays when the queue for A&E is at its shortest.
“Phil Evans will give a talk this week on how best to store a severed thumb, after changing the oil on a Morris Minor”, explained Pippa Delaney.
“And Mr Delaney will explain why you never need to wear safety goggles, when using a chisel to prise a woodscrew out of your knee.”
A nurse will be on hand throughout the meeting, to help anyone up who accidentally tries to sit on the furniture.
“Wood glue and Savlon can look very similar”, said Delaney. “Although one of them makes it a bit harder to get the bandages off.”
Sadly, Mick Clarkson won’t be giving his presentation on foraging for mushrooms, but his wife said he’s feeling a little better and has stopped puking brown through his tear ducts.
The evening will draw to a close after the Rev. Tansy Forster has announced the winner of the Heaviest Loaf competition.