Emissions scandal spreads to German sausages and lager


Emissions have been linked to worrying levels of accordions.

As VW’s executives admit that they sometimes release noxious gases, Germany’s ‘who smelt it dealt it’ scandal has now spread to the important spiced pork industry.

For years, the EC has imposed ever-tougher environmental rules on the sausage. Along with cheap lager, they’re responsible for 60% of tailpipe emissions.

Consumer champion Pippa Delaney explained the deceit.

“It seems that while German manufacturers claim to make a ‘cleaner wiener’, in reality, they’re churning out the same dirty old bangers.”

“I think they were hoping we wouldn’t kick up a stink about this. But this must be followed through, and follow through I will.”

Delaney gave journalists a practical demonstration of the impact of sulphurous emissions. The presentation was pretty eye-watering, even after a courtesy flush.

Delaney hopes to restrict access to sausages and other minced, seasoned meat products, by bringing in laws that mean they’re locked away in a box.

But as she admitted, “that’s the wurst case scenario.”

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