Have you got ink? Curious about what it means? Evening Harold unpicks the scabs on the tattoo code…
Swallow on neck: You are an Arthur Ransome fan.
Tear under one eye: You suffer from hayfever. (Please offer this person antihistamines if they appear to be in difficulty.)
Anchor on forearm: Possible subconscious iron deficiency.
Unicorn: You interfere with horses.
Football club badge: You are working class. Talk to someone about chips.
Goldfish: You have a poor memory.
Children’s names: You have a very poor memory.
Own name: You have escaped from somewhere. Call an adult for help.
Bar code: You are a bell end.
A bear, on fire, fighting a shark: You are AWESOME.