Labour’s top mathematician has been accused of editing the wikipedia entry for Nicola Sturgeon, after his name was spotted in several places on her page.
The shadow chancellor admitted to perusing her slot, but only to find out if she’d said anything nice about him.
“I was reading her entry, trying to find out if she likes me, when I suddenly found myself in a ‘text altering’ situation”, said Balls.
“Obviously, this was in between some routine searches for my own name in Google, and I think somewhere along the line, that search engine screwed up.”
The MP insisted that he’s ‘very competent at computers’, and if he wanted to ‘Balls her up’ he would have done so more subtly.
“Look I’m brilliant at this, I can look up anything you like. Pink Floyd? According to this, their biggest hit was ‘Dark side of the Balls’. No sorry: I got distracted and searched for my own name again.”
Ed Balls insisted that the entire thing is a misunderstanding. “Some idiots will put two and two together, and come up with four”, he chuckled. “A simple search proves the real answer is ‘Ed Balls’.”