Kensington Palace has confirmed Prince Harry will be leaving the Royal Family at the end of June.
A spokesman was keen to stress that the red headed action man was not being thrown out of the Family, saying, “It’s not so much he’s being kicked out of the Royal Family; more, he was never a member of the Family in the first place.”
Palace insiders admitted things had come to a head recently with the lack of any family resemblance becoming increasingly obvious as Prince William’s hair has decided to recede faster than a Sandringham hare at the sight of a royal gun.
“Things have become difficult between Harry and his “brother”,” confided one confidant. “William’s has followed the Royal lineage with his comb over already needing its own comb over, whilst Harry still looks ready to sprout a red afro at any moment. Lord knows who his father really is.”
In return for stepping down, Harry will receive a pension for life and an official title. It is not known what the Person Formerly Known as Prince will do next, but his release from the shackles of Royalty will leave him free to marry long term on-off girlfriend Chelsy Davy.
As well as Catholics and any one named Simpson, all Royal personages are constitutionally prevented from marrying anyone named after a football club, an ancient protocol which thwarted Prince Edward’s desire to solemnise his long term friendship with school pal, Arsenal.