The Church of England has banned clergy from being members of the BNP or the National Front however it was quick to reassure its priests that other forms of bigotry are still absolutely fine.
“We’ve given fascism the old heave-ho,” said the Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby at a press conference. “But our priests can still rabidly oppose the ordination of women and be as beastly to gay people as they like. Don’t want to upset the apple cart and all that.”
The CofE says that being a priest and being a member of the BNP or the National Front is incompatible with its views on the “equality of persons or groups of different races”. And yet the Archbishop suddenly seemed to run out of words and brought the press conference to a halt when he was asked why it was still permissible for priests to support a Coalition government that has engineered a huge rise in inequality and would hunt immigrants for sport if it thought no one was looking
A short while later he was seen outside muttering “Thank God, no one asked me about Ukip” before hurrying away.