In yet another popularist move, UKIP Party leader, Nigel Farage has promised to withdrawn Britian from the Eurovision Song Contest if he is elected to power.
“It’s an embarrassing spectacle,” he said, “and Britain should not be shaming itself by camping it up with the very worse of Europe. Especially when we have no chance of winning.”
“And when I say Europe,” he added, “the awfulness is not limited to European nations these days. The doors have been flung open wide and they’re letting anyone in now. I wouldn’t be surprised if they included Africa next.”
Whilst the announcement has been greeted with delight, amusement and yet another surge of support in the opinion polls, it been condemned by the left, who accused Farage of not only the usual racism, but also homophobia for suggesting the exuberant annual song Mardi Gras was camp.
Writing in the Guardian, Polly Toynbee questioned “Why on earth can’t Africa be included in the Eurovision Song Contest?” Surely, after all the years of oppression and black slavery, it’s the least Europe can so?”
“Of course,” she pointed out, “we’d have to exclude those countries with dodgy human rights but a couple would still qualify.”
Late last night, Farage remained unrepentant and was overheard joking that Ukraine’s entry had discovered their act had been infiltrated by a chorus of Russian backing singers.
The last word goes to Ms Toynbee who warned “It is no co-incidence that the words, fascist, Fuehrer, Farage and fuckwit all begin with the letter F.”