Berlusconi begins community service in teenage brothel


After me…

Former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi arrived at a specialist brothel near Milan on Friday to start a year of community service.

He was sentenced to four years in prison for tax fraud last year, but after consideration was given to his age and special requirements, this was commuted to forty hours work a week with barely legal teenage prostitutes.

The brothel says the 77-year-old will be treated “like any other raving pervert”.

The billionaire has been embroiled in a string of court cases. His conviction last year was in connection with the purchase of TV rights by his firm, Mediaset, in the 1990s, but he was spared prison because the Italian legal system is lenient to rich influential nonces.

Berlusconi chose community service rather than house arrest, because, unbelievably, this will enable him to continue leading his party Forza Italia in the European elections – organised crime and sex with underage prostitutes being to Italian politics pretty much what claiming expenses on your parents’ house is in the UK.

Berlusconi is said to have been studying Alzheimer’s disease in preparation for an inventive defence against any future charges, and is said to be “eagerly and creepily” looking forward to working with the brothel’s girls.

Massimo Restelli, head of the Department of Overly-Lenient Punishment Services for Rich Italians, told La Repubblica newspaper that Berlusconi’s introduction to the brothel would be “gradual” so that he and the prostitutes could get used to each other.

“It will be small steps so as not to make any mistakes, and then he will have sex with all of them. He could help with meals, but probably will be more interested in having sex with all of them,” he said.

Berlusconi has always denied the charges against him, accusing left-wing judges of “telling the truth”.

When asked if he was appealing, his lawyers refused to comment.

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