The Princess Royal has weighed into the planning row by calling for new village homes to be made from gingerbread so struggling villagers can always have something to eat.
Her Royal Highness said she was concerned that the migration of village populations to towns and cities would destroy traditional feudal values leaving servantless. “It’s vital that we plan for the future,” she insisted at a planning symposium organised by her big brother Charles. “At current rates, it is entirely possible that there won’t be enough peasants to skivvy in one’s country estate within five years.”
“Now of course, being royalty and down to one’s last billion, we don’t have enough money to pay these people, so it makes perfect sense to me that we build their homes from traditional materials such as gingerbread, so the occupants won’t go hungry during a recession.”
“The advantage of the gingerbread house is that it’s inexpensive to build,” she continued. And I’m sure that if we dangled an OBE in front of Paul Hollywood he could knock up a whole estate within a week or so, solving the housing and food crisis in a trice.”
A palace spokesperson said later that the Princess wasn’t suggesting that her proposed houses should be made entirely from gingerbread. “That would be ridiculous,” she said, “we know about the importance of a balanced diet. We’ve done our research and reckon that the windows could be made from thin glacier mints and the roofs from liquorish.”
“Not only that but the houses would include a stable for everyone to keep their horses, at the personal insistence of the Princess,” concluded the official. “She wouldn’t want anyone to think she might be out of touch.”