Corporation tax has long been a contentious issue politically, with HMRC doing their best to get multi-national companies to pay the correct levels of tax owed. These tactics have ranged from taking company directors out to dinner to the more drastic action of asking them really nicely.
Now HMRC have announced they are to try a new approach to collecting the millions of pounds owed to the public purse; begging.
Lin Homer, the chief executive of HMRC told us: “We have tried to get these large companies to pay corporation tax for years so it had become clear a new approach was needed.
“I tried Googling ‘how to get multinationals to pay tax’, but all I got was pictures of fluffy kittens. After 5 hours looking at them I went for a walk, and it hit me.
“A homeless man was asking people if they had any spare change and they seemed to be happy to throw money into an old polystyrene cup he was holding.
“He made it look so easy we have now hired him as the head of the ‘corporate tax avoidance evasion’ department. We now have beggars outside some of the biggest companies head offices and the success is astounding.
“So far we have managed to collect £30.24 from outside Amazon, £7.84 and €1 from the pavement in front of Starbucks, and because of our efforts outside Google, HMRC are now the proud owner of an out of date egg sandwich and a cup of tea.”
The success of the new scheme has been welcomed by George Osborne. He said if HMRC can keep up getting these “significant sums of money” from the large companies then if the Conservative party win the next election outright, he will find the money to acquire dogs for the beggars.
Despite the monies received from the begging scheme still being much lower than what the law says HMRC should be collecting, Lin Homer said something is better than nothing.
“We are still keeping our core principles the same when it comes to international tax avoidance; we are not going to make a big issue out of it but we will take what we can. Beggars can’t be choosers”.