Nigella will gnaw off the blue bits if Scotland votes for independence.
A village post office has finally updated its stock of gifts – out go tea towels, and in come souvenir dishwasher tablets.
Complete with a commemorative range of rinse aids and 3 kilo sacks of salt, Harold will once again rekindle holiday memories while people wash up the pots.
“Some of these tea towels have been here for nearly ten years”, admitted post mistress Nigella Bunting. “For some reason, visitors don’t want to associate our village with ball-aching drudgery. So I came up with the idea of upgrading to these 2-in-1 gel bags: they wash plates while they remind you of visiting here by accident on that day when the M1 was closed.”
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