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by yikes28 | December 5, 2013 · 2:00 pm

Sir Alex denies return as Man Utd manager for £15 million and taller statue

The second coming?

With David Moyes’ reign hanging by a thread after another loss, Sir Alex Ferguson clarified that there is no way in the world he would return as Man Utd manager even if paid £15 million a year, his son got a £5 million fee for arranging the deal, and his statue was increased in height by a foot.

“They could offer me all that and more and I still wouldn’t be interested” said Sir Alex. “I’d say no to the job even if they threw in some champion racehorses, a holiday house in Barbados, and chained David Beckham to the wall so I could throw shoes at him.”
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Tagged as david moyes, David Moyes sacked, man u, manchester united, Sir Alex Ferguson, Sir Alex return as manager, Sir Alex statue

by yikes28 | October 27, 2013 · 8:30 am

Man Utd swastika error: “we mixed up dictators – was meant to be Sir Alex”

Who needs a V2 rocket when you have a hairdryer?

Red-faced Man Utd Head of Media David Sternberg unreservedly apologised for the Nazi style content in the Club newsletter, and explained that the swastika-like logo and reference to a “New Order” was because the newsletter editor misunderstand the instruction to profile “that terrible dictator”.

“Obviously we meant Sir Alex and not Adolf Hitler. Don’t get me wrong, Hitler was bad, but I’m not sure even he could have brought Roy Keane to tears, or thrown a boot at such a big star as David Beckham” said Sternberg.
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