His colour sense isn’t that great either
In the quiet English village of Harold, a local council is making a stand against the anti-social wearing of shorts by men.
“The first decent weather of the year saw men out and about in shorts which were already too small in 2015.”says Cllr Ron Ronnson.
“Oddly, most of the shorts hadn’t stretched in the back of the wardrobe, hidden under a 2012-2013 Manchester United scarf and a replica ‘Thierry Henry’ Arsenal shirt.”
Filed under Father's Day, Health, News
After an eight year study costing £3m, scientists in Harold say they have discovered the fundamental physics behind the forces that attract a suited man’s hands straight into his pocket.
Looking into the phenomenon, lead researcher Henry Slater said: “The forces that act on men’s hands seem to be totally indiscriminate affecting everyone from Prince Charles at the state opening of parliament in Westminster through to Barry from the pub opening a bottle of Carlsberg at his best mate’s wedding.
“Put a jacket on him and his hand will go through the arm, out of the sleeve, straight into a trouser pocket.
Male Masterchef contestants have complained that they ‘have no way of winning’ following new rules that mean they have to leave the kitchen tidy.
While soufflés and reductions hold no fear for men in the tea-cooking contest, wiping a damp cloth around the worktops afterwards is more than many can manage.
Hosts Gregg Wallace and John Torode have winced at the attempts by some men to clean up after themselves. They fear that just the thought of having to leave the place spotless will make many contestants ‘dumb down’ their menus to avoid mess.
Extracts from last night’s show seem to support this.
Fisher (voiceover): Ricky has made his signature dish of cooled-over beans served in a tin cylinder. His workstation remains spotless.
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