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Portable ‘midget magistrates’ to deliver on-the-spot justice?


The Law is Just Above an Arse.

The Police Association has reacted angrily to plans to house magistrates in police stations, claiming they wouldn’t be ‘on-the-spot enough’.

Instead, they want to see officers carrying tiny judges with them, either in back packs or a proper legal case.

The Truncheon Foundation, a forward-leaning police think-tank, is some of the brain behind the suggestion. It believes that by only employing magistrates considerably under 5-foot tall, police officers wouldn’t struggle to carry the judicial system.

“By adopting the ‘midgetstrate’, Britain’s police would be more efficient”, said PC Flegg. “Think of it as a cross between RoboCop, Judge Dredd and Jeremy Kyle.”
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