Tag Archives: Magaluf

Scandal! Brits sink to new low as 88-year-old woman performs launch on aircraft carrier in front of cheering crowd

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Unacceptable face of Brits abroad

Alcohol-fuelled British antics have reached a new low after an elderly monarch shocked the nation by publicly performing the whisky-assisted naming of an aircraft carrier, merely to earn a tax-free Sovereign Grant of £36.1 million.

The woman, who has not yet been named, is believed to be an 88-year-old Queen from Britain.

Video of the sordid two-minute “launching” in the Scottish resort of Rosyth has sparked outrage on the internet and among politicians.

Wearing pale blue, the monarch moved from one local dignitary to the next to the cheers of revellers, before tossing a litre of Scotch expertly onto the prow of a boat.

One of the men involved said everyone in the celebration was “delighted”. The reveller, named only as Philip, 93, said: “It was a ceremony that got completely out of hand. The woman was being encouraged to shake hands more and more, and was told it would be a great honour if she would take part. I feel sorry for her, she must feel awful this morning.”

“May God bless her and all who sail in her,” he added.

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Experts baffled by hotel balcony death falls

The Dizzy Heights Hotel

The Dizzy Heights Hotel

Overseas tourist officials they are baffled by Benidorm Bungee, a syndrome which has caused an increasing number of young holidaymakers to plunge to their death from hotel balconies for no apparent reason.

The syndrome, named after the resort where it first occurred, only seems to affect British tourists, striking them down in the early hours of the morning without warning. Most of its victims are young with no previous balance or health issues.

Stacey Briggs, 21, lost Darren, her boyfriend of two days, to an attack of Benidorm Bungee whilst on holiday in Magaluf in June. “We’d just got back to my hotel room after ending up at that El Tequila Slammer Bar. As I was chucking up, Darren said he would get some air on the balcony and, then, he was gone. It was all so sudden. He didn’t even say goodbye.” Continue reading

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