Tag Archives: Lord Vetinari

Lord Vetinari takes control of the UK


At last a leader with convictions, intelligence and razor-sharp cheekbones

The UK is under new leadership this morning following a coup by the Patrician of Ankh-Morpork, Lord Havelock Vetinari.

“Coup is a needlessly dramatic word,” Lord Vetinari told reporters. “I can hardly be said to have violently thrown a government from power when you don’t have one, or an Opposition. Both sides seem entirely preoccupied with what one might call ‘internal matters’. Indeed barely anyone noticed as I walked into Number Ten and installed myself in the best office and Drumknott in an suitable alcove nearby. The only person to do more than raise an eyebrow was Theresa May who I must say kicks like a mule and has a command of the baser aspects of the English language that is entirely formidable.” Continue reading


Filed under Brexit, Politics

Emigration crisis pending as seven out of ten Brits apply to live in Ankh-Morpork


Ankh-Morpork: a sprawling city-state ruled by a tyrant where life is often nasty, brutish and short. Beats the crap out of London.

Britain has been plunged into an emigration crisis as newly published figures reveal that no fewer than seven out of ten of us have applied to leave the country to live and work in Ankh-Morpork.

Ankh-Morpork is the largest city on the Discworld which some say is a fictional realm created by Sir Terry Pratchett but to a great many people is as real as Tamriel, The Shire and Gotham City i.e. completely. Continue reading

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Filed under Entertainment, News