IS a dork
ISIS has slammed the new execution video as ‘too derivative’, and say they regret selling the popular franchise to Disney.
An ISIS spokesman said they were disappointed with the unimaginative casting of another Britain to replace Jihadi John, and the use of the same old tired desert location.
“Where is the creative spark, where is the character development? The gimmicky use of the child was just appalling, what next – a puppy?” said the spokesman.
Officials in the revenue protection department of Croydon Borough Council have been reminiscing about their former colleague Mohammed Emwazi who has been identified as vicious ISIS killer Jihadi John.
“Quite simply, Mo was the most successful traffic warden we ever had,” said his former boss, Eric Braithwaite. “He zealously carried out his duties with a fervour that bordered upon fanaticism which did wonders for the Council coffers.”
“Mo had a hypnotic glint in his eye which made motorists generously hand over cash far in excess of any incurred parking penalties,” he continued. “Of course, he realised that he wasn’t universally popular, which was apparently the reason he always carried a machete. Continue reading