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Retired Sir Alex Ferguson ‘still hasn’t put those shelves up’

FERGIE

Sir Alex ‘too tight’ to get a man in.

Despite being at a loose end for over three weeks now, retired Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson ‘still hasn’t put those bloody shelves up’, according to his wife Cathy.

Sir Alex has been promising to tackle various odd-jobs around the home since 1986, when he first moved the family for his new senior administrative role with a popular sports team in Manchester. But while most men retire around the age of 65, Cathy claims he ‘deliberately kept going into his 70s’ to avoid the looming spectre of DIY.

“Alex claims he’s good with his hands, but he’s not so much as rewired a plug since the early 90s”, revealed Cathy. “And when I say ‘rewired’, I mean ‘shouted at its metal little face for 94 minutes and then hit it with a shoe.”
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