Tag Archives: government funding

“Thanks for calling Samaritans. Press 1 for ‘I’m a bit sad …'”

tescotrust

We did find the ‘Samaritans’ logo but  we really like them and couldn’t resist the irony of: ‘Tesco, Charity & Trust’

A recent Government announcement means a big shake up  for all UK charities. “As a Conservative I detest the public sector as an article of faith but I loathe ‘something for nothing’ even more.” says charities minister Nick Hurd “So we’re nationalising bigger charities, before selling them on to friends, and generally buggering about with the rest. Sorry? Because we can, that’s why.”

Sadly, not all charities are easily monetised and Hurd cites Samaritans as the worst offender in this respect. “It’s almost as if the last thirty years of management analysis had simply passed them by. Basically they’re still just talking with people, which is plain daft and very labour-intensive”. Continue reading

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Filed under Business, charity, News, Politics

Minister tells stressed mental health workers to ‘cheer up’

ledger

He’s fine. Probably just needs a tickle.

With the Royal College of Psychiatrists claiming mental health services are ‘near breaking point’, Care Minister Norman Lamb has insisted that they ‘try and cheer up’.

“The trouble with the bloody psychiatrists is that for them, the glass is always half empty, whereas in reality it’s almost a third full. Well, maybe a quarter. Certainly not very much less than a quarter, that’s for sure. They should just get a grip and snap out of it.”
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Filed under News, Politics, Uncategorized