British scientists have developed genetically modified potatoes that have sufficient intelligence and teeth to fight off small mammals.
For years farmers have been blighted by having their potatoes eaten by mice and rats, and have had to invest heavily in traps and poison. Now, after a three year trial run by Harold village scientist Bjorn ‘Three Fingers’ Bjornsson, a strain of potato has been engineered which is practically invulnerable to field animals and hungry tramps.
Following an EU investigation into the potential for terrifying biotechnology to protect crops, scientists at the John Horse Memorial Laboratory began a trial of savage nightmare potatoes in 2010. An early setback ensued when all the trial potatoes escaped one cloudy moonless night, leading to friction with locals and the mysterious disappearance of every cat in the village. Continue reading
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