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Vast Antarctic iceberg and huge London fatberg to fight to death in awesome Atlantic berg-off

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Coming soon to an ocean near you!

Oceanologists were said to be “totally stoked” today at the news that the massive new Antarctic iceberg will float into the mid-Atlantic just as the famous London “fatberg”, recently disgorged from the capital’s sewers, also enters the same region of ocean.

The iceberg has appeared from a 270 square mile frozen shelf which recently split off from the Antarctic Pine Island Glacier, while the fatberg is a fifty tonne dollop of accumulated human unpleasantness which nearly crippled the London sewage system.

It is expected that the two giant bergs will swirl ever-closer, each warily seeking maritime supremacy, until they finally clash in a spectacular orgy of bergy power, filling the sea for miles around with raining death of ice splinters and soft fatty globules. Continue reading

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