Tag Archives: fashion

Corpse of Marilyn Monroe ‘now thin enough to model’


Cheek bones to die for.

Marilyn Monroe’s skeleton could be signed by a top modelling agency, if her estate agrees to a couple of ribs being removed.

Once notorious for her hideously three-dimensional body, Marilyn’s latest ‘diet’ has brought her tantalisingly close to being slim enough for modern fashion tastes.

“We wouldn’t have signed her when she was alive, she was just too ‘flesh and bone'”, said fashion mogul Karl Masstasi. “But now she’s all bone, she can easily fit into our dresses. Once we’ve shaved down her pelvis.”
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Post-It Notes cosmetics range ‘perfect for busy working mums’


Beauty is only paper thin.

Stationery giants Post-It Notes have launched a range of peel-on-and-off cosmetics, for women who put more of a priority on ‘me time’ than ‘face time’.

Claiming to put ‘the slap back into slap’, blemishes are now a thing of the past, once a square of pre-gummed paper has been banged over the offending area.

Available in a choice of colours and easily reused, the range includes concealers, tanning squares and a selection of indelible eyebrows.

“The latest trend for people to remove their real eyebrows and then draw them back in with a marker pen got us thinking”, said Post-It’s head reminderologist Felicity Hamilton. “It can be really hard using a permanent Sharpie in a mirror, especially if you’re a klutz. A lot of bleary-eyed ladies are tending to go out these days looking like badly drawn morons.”
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