Beauty is only paper thin.
Stationery giants Post-It Notes have launched a range of peel-on-and-off cosmetics, for women who put more of a priority on ‘me time’ than ‘face time’.
Claiming to put ‘the slap back into slap’, blemishes are now a thing of the past, once a square of pre-gummed paper has been banged over the offending area.
Available in a choice of colours and easily reused, the range includes concealers, tanning squares and a selection of indelible eyebrows.
“The latest trend for people to remove their real eyebrows and then draw them back in with a marker pen got us thinking”, said Post-It’s head reminderologist Felicity Hamilton. “It can be really hard using a permanent Sharpie in a mirror, especially if you’re a klutz. A lot of bleary-eyed ladies are tending to go out these days looking like badly drawn morons.”
Hamilton revealed that she was in fact modelling a pair of ‘Don’t Forget’ eyebrows, a ‘To Do’ zit mask and a ‘Your Mum Phoned’ less-lazy eye.
“And to think you can look this good in under 10 seconds”, exclaimed the campaign’s Post-It Girl. “It must be quite an improvement, I’ve never had so many people stare at me. Complete strangers have stopped me and asked for a selfie, they can’t believe you can do this to yourself. I’m an overnight social media phenomenom.”
Not everyone thinks Post-Its are the answer to every beauty question, although many acknowledge that the range of colours does make them quite flexible.
“The pale blue is good for that classic ‘Holiday in Scotland’ look, and I’ve heard the orange ones are popular amongst the lower league WAGs of Cheshire”, admitted Pippa Delaney. “But once you start to pull the ‘Sampler Pad’ apart, you’ll find it just doesn’t stack up. Not without a dab of Pritt Stick, anyway.”
Delaney wasn’t impressed with the results. “When I gave it a go, my husband Simon’s reaction was a little weird. In fact the first thing he did was point the TV remote at me and try to make me go away.”
“He said he could see I’d done something but complained I was a bit pixelated. He was just trying to see if I was available in HD.”
omg…………