Tag Archives: European Elections

Relief as Britain found to be less racist than France

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This man is bankrupt and very recently unemployed. It’s okay, we laughed too.

There was relief in Harold this morning as the European election results confirmed one thing: the UK is officially less racist than France. In France the Front National party won the election while on this side of the channel voters decided they’d had enough of fascists and the BNP lost both its seats. Continue reading

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“If you want a nutter for a neighbour, vote Ukip” shock over new Tory slogan

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According to their opponents if Ukip triumph today there will be one of these (whatever the hell this is) in every street in the land.

As the country heads to the polling stations the Tories have caused a last minute sensation with a new campaign slogan.

“The gloves are off,” said the Secretary of State for Europe David Lidington at an early morning press conference. “With the admittedly forthright language of our new slogan we are trying to wake people up. We’re saying engage with the process, get out and vote today or there will be an influx of fruitcakes and swivel-eyed loons in every decent, hard-working British community.” Continue reading

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European Elections latest: opposition to Ukip prepared to do anything but vote

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“Yeah, I know people died for my right to vote but I’m comfy.”

Things are looking good for Nigel Farage as Ukip are set to triumph in the European elections on May 22nd. Despite his party attracting significant opposition in the press and across social media it seems that no one who dislikes what Ukip stand for can actually be arsed to vote. Continue reading

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