Tag Archives: cock end

Cyclist spotted in dignified clothing

cyclist

The maniac didn’t even spit at passing motorists.

A cyclist has attempted to travel through a rural area, while not dressed as an absolute cock-end.

The incident was dismissed as a hoax at first, but police were forced to react after being inundated with calls.

“An I.C 1 cyclist was apprehended this afternoon”, said PC Flegg, “while wearing a proper shirt, and trousers too loose to reveal his religion.”

“He wasn’t streaming his route to social media, there was no mention of Team Sky anywhere on his clothing, and he was riding in a courteous manner. This idiot clearly didn’t have a clue.”
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Filed under Around Harold, Culture, Fashion

Russell Brand sues designers of Guy Fawkes mask

russellbrand

“I definitely came up with this first” insisted Brand.

Russell Brand has started legal action against legendary author Alan Moore, claiming he stole his face for an iconic Guy Fawkes mask.

Brand, 444, revealed he was the inspiration for graphic novel ‘V for Vendetta’, despite Moore never meeting him or caring if he was dead or alive.

“What it is, right, is a ponderous liberty with me visage”, said Brand. “I’ve been contriving for a fulmination of parliament from the first day I was on drugs. Parklife.”

Defence lawyers for Moore pointed out that he didn’t ‘draw a bloody thing’, but simply wrote the story for David Loyd to illustrate. “Aye, but the flocculent visionary was thinking of me when he wroted it, dint ‘e? Parklife”, insisted Brand.
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Filed under Around Harold, Politics