Tag Archives: Bill Gates

Xbox One will not play games says Microsoft

Less fun than a Spectrum 48k

Less fun than a Spectrum 48k

Following its disastrous launch earlier in the year when fans were up in arms over the fact that the new Xbox would have to be always connected to the Internet, then the further revelation that it was not designed to support vertical orientation, Microsoft have finally admitted that their newest toy won’t actually play games either.

“We worked hard to give our customers the best experience with this next generation console,” said Microsoft spokesperson Dale Tice. “But at the end of the day the technology just isn’t in place for us deliver and so with a heavy heart we’re taking the gaming component out of the Xbox One.” Continue reading

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Man reaches the limit of cyberspace: says we’re gonna need a bigger Internet

The answer to life, the univ and everything

The answer to life, the Internet and everything

Dan Brooks, office manager at Harold estate agents Lacrymans & Co, has inadvertently discovered the answer to the Internet by becoming the first person to view every page and click every link.

‘When I first went online in the late nineties there wasn’t much to see and then as the Internet grew I suppose I was just like everyone else,’ Brooks said. ‘I’d surf between a couple of dozen sites during the day then get drunk on Saturday nights and email poems about mince to my mother-in-law or buy fifteen kilograms of midget gems off eBay. It was all perfectly normal.’

However that normality ended six months ago when a serious typing error didn’t lead to a To The Manor Born fansite but a gallery of gerontophile porn and Brooks found himself on a journey to the furthest outreaches of cyberspace. Continue reading

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